Friday, 9 August 2013

Child vs. Adult

There is a reason why we call those precious things running around 'CHILDREN'.
Bear with me.

A sex abuse case involving a 41 year old man and a 13 year old girl has caused dysphoria in cyberspace. Meltdown in Twitterdom.
It's not so much about the sex abuse case though, but the verdict.
Now I'm no barrister by any means but I am baffled at how the judge came about labelling the 13-year-old victim as "predatory". Mind boggling.
Reasons such as looking and acting much older than her age, in my opinion, are not good enough to label or stereotype a person, let alone not a teen.

My arguments : (Let's play some court room drama, shall we?)

Child vs. Adult

According to Erik Ericsson's psychosocial chart, the victim is in a transition stage, between childhood and adulthood (adolescences). She is neither a child nor an adult, which to me, is really a confusing place to be. Trust me, I've seen enough when I was teaching in a primary school, not long ago.

The definition of child in most dictionaries, a person not yet of age or a young person especially between infancy and youth. So please expect childlike or childish behaviour.
Let that sink in.
Surely the judge, in all his wisdom and knowledge of the law, would've interpreted it the same as my simple understanding. Surely?
Expect childlike or childish behavior. Not the matured measured controlled one from typical grown adults.
Surely?

Definition of adult, fully developed and matured. Having the capability of making a sound and experienced judgement.
If someone, irrelevant of age or background, comes and offers you something that's legally, morally and obviously wrong, aren't you suppose to turn it away?
When at a slippery slope, aren't you suppose to be careful climbing down (better still, avoid it and take another route)? For those who like taking risks, you can't blame the slope if you fall.

So take a long look at yourself in the mirror if you're one of those who are saying it takes two to tango or she asked for it. It is clearly off the mark because you are comparing apples to oranges.

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Teen Turmoil

Teenage years are the hardest because so much is happening and changing with and within them. Coupled with PMS, it's a recipe for disaster if you're expecting rationality from them. I wish I could stay clear of this but that's wishful thinking because I've got three growing pre-teen girls. To say that I'll be going through a lengthy roller coaster ride would be a somewhat understatement. Fingers crossed, I hope I would be sane enough to handle whatever it is, these teenagers of mine, throw at me. To expect them to be sane and angelic, is akin to sighting a mermaid perhaps.
I guess it is payback time for all the nonsense I made my mother go through. 
It is a confusing stage I know, because I've been there! It's a black hole, full of uncertainties and doubt. It's the stage in life where hormones take over the thinking capabilities and everything seems OK. 

The stage where you think you are invincible and have no two hoots for anyone else but yourself.
The stage where it's cool to be obnoxious, loud, experimentative and sometimes stupid.
The stage where you believe if you don't get the latest shoes, you'd be an outcast and your social life is ruined, FOREVER! 
The stage where what your mom says is bogus but what friends say holds a lot of truth.
I wish I could fast forward this stage or build a bubble for my kids which will safeguard them, but that would be wrong. It will rob them of their best years in life. So much happens when you are a teenager.

All the first things;

first memorable kiss
 first love
 first heartbreak
 first time living own on your own
first health care decision
first rental agreement
first time being fully responsible of your laundry

first bills

first checking account

first flu without the comfort of mother's hot chicken soup

first time driving a car

first time cooking for someone

first flight alone

first holiday without parents

first hangover

first walk alone in the dark

first meet-up with an online "friend"

first paper qualification

first job

first salary

first debt
first interview

Some of these may leave a profound memory or scar on your soul. I have yet to meet anyone who speaks of their teenage life without life and enthusiasm. A lot is learnt and some of it may have helped shape the me, I am today. These experiences I would cherish forever, both good and the bad ones.

All I hope is that I will be able to equip my little angels with enough confidence and strength so that they are able to swim with sharks, hunt with wolves and return home, stronger and experienced.

She's a Tween, close to a confused teen


"These are the years a man changes into the man he is going to become, for the rest of his life". 
Uncle Ben from Spiderman  



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