Saturday, 8 June 2013


Do as I say and not as I do.

"Don't hit her back!" I reprimanded my eldest daughter and tried explaining to her, how her baby sister is too young to understand what's wrong or right. Also, she would think hitting is acceptable because her elder sister is doing it.
I felt so wise and continued pouring my "wisdom" onto her.
At the end of the long lecture, she tells me not to be angry with her if she screams (I am guilty of screaming, a lot!)
That was bummer. All I could afford was a lame smile.
This got me thinking. All that I dislike my children doing is somehow my fault. It has to be because apart from school they don't speed an awful lot of time elsewhere.
My daughter is only 6 and all these years I was her first and most important teacher.
It's widely
known that children need role models and heroes to emulate and to for identifications. Hence we often hear ourselves saying; "What you see is what you get." or (mid-western quote) “You can’t pick corn if you planted taters.”
While searching for an answer to mend this issue, I came across an interesting write-up. Sharing an excerpt from it;
The instinct to emulate is the strongest characteristic of human nature. This too is a very useful and valuable trait. This helps the child to progress with its learning process like eating, dressing, speaking and other societal happenings in the environment. The human being is a natural mimic and keeps doing it throughout his life but children till the age of around five years do this more. For a long time the faculties of the child are not so developed that it is not able to decide the course of action by itself. In this period it emulates what the parents and others do in front of him.


BUT. Why is it that they, have not developed a habit to clean up after their mess or put their clothes into the laundry basket? Or even use a plate when they are snacking. I do this, all the time and they have seen me doing it.
Is it selective emulations, my kids have developed? Just like how they tend to switch-off when I switch-on my nagging mode because it truly seems like it.
Looks like, this shall remain a mystery until the day I decode it.

So, the next time if I see something I don't like, I need to sit back and reflect because they could be doing what I DO.

I am their window to the outside world and their behaviour should echo my upbringing.
Time to be more prudent. Next, when shake my head or give them the disapproved and disappointed look, it should be aimed, right back at me! 

Remember, when you point one finger at someone, four other fingers are pointing right back at you!

Also featured in The Star

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  1. Nice reading indeed ;-)
    We are responsible for our childrens doubt but thr are some things that I would never understand where the behaviour comes from.. sometimes it makes me wonder if she is my jokes aside..

    All we can do is to keep on guiding them towards the right thing ;-)

    1. I really hope so. I really hope I am doing everything right. I am hoping and hoping because I have so much doubt :(

  2. It seems as though my children often emulate my mistakes and my bad behaviors more than my good ones, but once in a while they surprise me by showing me their solid goodness. Thank you for stopping by the Madness :)

    1. So true. Perhaps they are trying to teach us by showing us our bad habits, are BAD.