Thursday, 20 November 2014

Flawlessly flawed

Am I forty? Not quite, but I am feeling its wrath. Like a thunder pounding on my window, trying to break in and unleash its unwelcomed gifts. Gifts that will take away my agility, ability and abundance of energy to bounce right back up from any given situation - late night, stressful day, good workout and over indulgence - and replace that, with a weaker me.
Not long ago, I could spend a whole evening in gym - working out and not hanging by the juice bar, chatting with a good looking fitness instructors - and feel absolutely no body aches the next day, is unfortunately not how I feel these days. Even if my mind says that I am young, or that I am still 35 years old (I stopped counting after 35), does not tally with my physical condition.

A 20 minutes workout, broke me and forced me to take it very slow for a couple of days after. My limbs became foreign and were no longer in my control. It wobbled like a pair of tentacles that had a mind of its own, not responding to my preconceived actions.

The after effects of this workout almost crippled me and left me with a stiff back, neck and weak knees. It was so bad that I had to seek professional help, who pointed out my weakness and alerted me to start listening to my body.
I was forced to put away my running shoes because I now own of a pair of very weak knees. Knees that can no longer handle the trauma or impact of jogging on hard surface.

The younger me would have scorned at my inability to continue and despised me for being so vulnerable. But it seems like my body's stamina and ability to weather any situation has spiralled downwards almost overnight! After my **th birthday.

What could have caused such a drastic change?

Was it the rich food I had on my surprise birthday party or was my body doing what it was supposed to?

Whatever the reason may be, it shook my believes and I no longer think the notion that says age is just a number, applies to me.

If you see me in person you would think I am being silly or am simply exaggerating matters. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I had been bestowed with a good physique, that had flawlessly hid all my flaws - up until now.

However, having the right weight, figure and height means bollocks in my case. So this new setback is either because I am approaching the big four-oh or maybe it is due to the way I took care of myself in the past. Perhaps, I did not do proper justice to my body and did not feed it with the right food or gave it the required amount of workout.

You will not be able to relate to this if you are in your early twenties or even thirties but trust me, as you move closer to the forties, you might just know what I am talking about. It has magical powers where a lot of changes take place. I repeat, A LOT.

The ‘I’ a year ago is not the same me, I see staring back at me in the mirror today. Suddenly, I see bulges in places it is not supposed to be, my jeans which I had been wearing since my pre-marriage days, even after delivering my babies, has suddenly become tight and uncomfortable, and the most shocking of them all is, (drumroll please...)


Who gets pimples past their adolescent years!!! What, am I going through puberty all over again?!!!

If it was puberty, then why on earth aren't my boobs and buttocks perky like on teenagers? Instead, mine are working quite the opposite, trying to prove Newton's gravity theory (or is it Einstein’s relativity theory?)

I wasn't living a complete sedentary life, though I don't discount the fact that I could have done more in taking care of myself. Judging by the way I feel now and the preview I got on what to expect when I hit forty, is quite disturbing and I don't like it one bit.

I am not so concerned with the way I might look as I age, though a pretty picture is most welcomed. What worries me the most is my inability to keep up with my young children. As long as I can be there to do the things that I need to in good form and without any pain, would be considered a blessing.

I want to be able to keep up with their inexhaustible demands and give them my attention wholeheartedly. I want to be in top form and set a good example on how life is meant to be enjoyed. I want to empower them, educate them and let them know that they are in control of themselves, and how the choices they make today will place an important role in their future.

So it is back to the drawing board for me. To figure out how to sustain my agility. I know anything is possible, even reversing the way I feel but I need to be smart about it and not cause any further hurt to the already hurting me.

Lets get connected:

Thank you for stopping by at A cuppa for my thoughts


  1. Getting older sucks. I have begun to feel my age and accept it. It is the way it goes. Blessings.

    1. Acceptance is truly the magic here. I did not want to accept it and pushed it harder than I should or could. But with age comes wisdom, so I am beginning to accept the fact and am looking at alternative ways to improve my health. Getting older really sucks!

  2. I'm 43 with a five year old and a two year old and I don't even want to think about how I keep up! I never get the time or the opportunity to go out and exercise - I left the gym behind five years ago - but other than a few aches and pains and sometimes kind of limping a bit after being sat down for too long I do feel relatively young - I think having young children makes you feel younger in your mind, whatever your creaking limbs are telling you :-) #ordinarymoments

    1. Agree! Having young children somehow makes me feel younger too, which is good. But the reality still remains, I am old :( My physical form not able to keep up with their inexhaustible demands. Damn you creaking limbs! I scream (in my head),each time I feel pain.
      Thank you for stopping by.