Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Erase & Rewind

How to make learning fun was the recent discussion on a parenting board. I scoffed at it because in my mind (old school thinking) learning has to be sitting at the a table with lots of books and undivided attention.
In my current state, it is a little tough, achieving that "ideal" learning process.

I kept searching for a SAHM's KPIs. I needed these because it's hard to do something when there are no tangible goals or targets.
I was fresh out of a hectic working lifestyle and found adjusting to my new found "freedom" a little intimidating.

Guess God too realised that  I was a loose canon, so he decided I needed a company to ground me.
Along came another beautiful princess in 2012. Suddenly, I was not so free.

The first year was the toughest because I was breastfeeding and she was constantly attached to me.
Finding time to sit and guide them with school work was a challenge, let alone making it fun.
I admire my sister who dedicates all her time with the kids. Every waking moment is for her children, ensuring they will not lag in their school work.

Here I am, a SAHM who supposedly to have all the time, can't even dedicate a few minutes packing my 6 year old girl's school bag and I feel awful

Lets break it down
Stay-at-home-mother. See the word home comes before mother, and that's what I am doing.
I only realised this when I had a heart to heart chat with my girls while driving back from school.

My eldest had tears in her eyes while telling me that I am not present. I am around but not available. The only time I am available, is when I have something negative to say or nagging at them for trivial matters. 

I was shell shocked listening to what she had to say but remained solemn because there was so much truth and wisdom in what she said. 

I had been dedicating every ounce of my energy in building a "house" instead of a happy home. I had forgotten the reasons for my brave plunge from a steady and safe income earning working mom to a staying at home, mother. 

I wanted my children to grow up in a happy, healthy and holy home and I just realised, I am not doing that. If this was an employment, I am pretty sure my children would have fired me.

Time for some soul searching so I can erase and rewind.

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  1. Awww sweetheart. ..you are a superb momma who does everything for her kids.. we mothers try or shall I say give our outmost to our kids to have the 3ho's life style. God knows how mch we try right...

    And yes..I have been in the same situation. Harjeevan is very attached to me. Manjodh is in his teen, a good sensible boy and with their age gap I can happily say its an advantage as they were both given attention when they need it...at a different level.

    Stay cool x

    Ps hope to meet u for cha whn I come in July ;-)

    1. Thanks for.letting me know I am not alone. Cha sounds great :)