Motherhood unleashes the Wonder Woman in you.

Have you ever experienced a sudden power surge in your exhausted and about-to-crash body when you see your child is in harms way? Suddenly, you are able to do the lunges, somersaults and even run at lightening speed.

I have, and on many occasions too.

Just when I thought the need to bend down and pick up another toy off the floor would permanently disable my already aching back, I catch myself diving down and sliding  across my hallway to catch my toddler who decided to dive down from my sofa.

Despite being exhausted to the bones, the catch was so perfect that it was worthy of being a golden catch like that in a baseball game.

It's just amazing what motherhood brings out in you.

• I remember a time in my past when silence was uncomfortable and unbearable but today, I crave for it (because I've got three who like to jibber jabber a lot!)
• Eating out alone was unacceptable but today I want to be alone when I am having my cup of coffee.

• Going out every night and returning at the crack of dawn was a fun but today I hit the sack before midnight and am up before the sun is out.
• Watching TV was a daily routine but today, days go by without even glancing at the TV.
• A shower meant a lengthy affair in the bathroom. That is time spent looking in the mirror applying my 3 step facial cleansing pack but today I hardly have time to brush my hair and scrunchie has became my favourite hair accessory. (What were you thinking when I said "lengthy affair'?)

This is not how my daily cuppa looks like. I wouldn't have mind it, if it was.

Other than unleashing the super powers in you, it changes you in ways you would have least expected. These changes happen willingly and slowly takes over your pre-child lifestyle. I welcome these changes and some changes have helped me become a better person. It has thought me to love unconditionally and to share more.

During our short family weekend getaway, my husband's cousin (still a bachelor) asked me if I missed my bachelorette life and my immediate response was a resounding no. 

I am happy with everything that I have and don't have.

I am glad with all the things that I had to miss because I am so tied down trying to manage my life with 3 children.

The jibber-jabbers

Would I swap it? NO

How about you?

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Linking up with Greta

This could happen to anybody

(Updated 21/8/14)

The house doesn't matter, the perfect dinner doesn't matter - the kids matter.

On one Sunday morning 5 years ago, I was crying inconsolably while hugging my 3 & 2 years old children. I called my husband, threatened him and told him I will not forgive.

I had just witnessed a devastating story shared on Oprah Winfrey's show: An overwhelmed mom's mistake.

On Aug 23, 2007, Brenda Shably had made horrid mistake. She had left her toddler, Cecilia in her car for many hours during the hottest summer time.

I am unable reiterate her story because it still gives me goose bumps and my mind starts wondering to places I don't want it to go. I hate such thoughts but I can't stop them either! 

What makes me angry is that I did it once - I can hear my heart pounding as I am writing this. I am lost for words and don't know how to continue... (Pause and breathing deep)

No! I did not let my child die in a car.

Thought I better clear the air before you start wondering but I did FORGET (yes I FORGOT, I don't know how it was even possible but I did!) my 6 months old baby in the car for a minute at 1 pm during when the sun is most unforgiving with its heat.

I am trembling as I share this because it was a terrible, horrible, horrific and horrid incident. I have spent many days after, trying to figure why and how could I have done it? I don't have an answer to that but I feel terrible each time I think about it. 
 

What happened:

As usual, I headed over to pick up my girls from their school with my baby safely buckled in her car seat and then to my mom's place for lunch. Once at my mom's, my girls excitedly leaped out of the car and ran inside leaving me the task of bringing in their school bags and some groceries from the trunk. 

As I was putting away the grocery in her fridge, my mom asked where is S?

Everything froze. I felt my head spin and legs wobbly. I dropped the bags and  ran out of the house to my car. It was the longest 20 meters I have ever ran and it was taking forever to reach the car.

She was awake and looking at me as I was frantically trying to unfasten her seat belt. Fat tears were rolling down my cheeks and I was shaking uncontrollably, full of fear and guilt. Flashback of Brenda's tragedy was playing in my mind and a loud prayer was being uttered. Everything was moving at snail pace and I could not make out the words my mom was saying to me.

There was and never will be, a good excuse for what I did.

No matter how tired and exhausted I may be, forgetting a child is unforgivable. Unlike Brenda Shably, I have no deadlines or impressions to set. I am a stay at home mom and my kids are my boss. I should be working very hard to impress them and it doesn't take a lot to impress them, especially at their age (toddler & tween). All they want is my undivided attention and love.

As adults we ought to know when to call it a day and get some rest. I sometimes find it hard to fathom how being tired can intervene and cause major disruptions in my daily routine - from forgetting to being cranky.

I seriously think that when a parent is handed a newborn, they should come with a warning sign that says 'Do not get too tired when dealing with young children'  just as how you would be advised when taking prescribed drugs - 'Do not operate heavy machinery after consuming this medicine'. 

It is easier said than done, I know because I've been there. It is a lot of work and being constantly tired is quite the norm with a newborn. So isn't it a blessing that many parents are given long leave from work? Getting 60 days paid leave is insufficient, I can honestly say now after spending close to two years with my children. It's a big sacrifice but it is worth it. Every day spent was worth it.

It could happen to anyone

In June 2013, I came to know that a 3 year old had died due to heatstroke because she was left in a car for almost 8 hours! This dreadful incident happened in a place that I pass by every day. I cannot stop myself from thinking and wondering how it must be for the mother of that child.

A teacher who witnessed the whole incident told me it is something she wish would never happen to anybody. She was mad and infuriated that the mother (her colleague) could have forgotten her child in the car. I was quiet and couldn't gather enough courage to speak up and tell her to stop blaming the mother. I wanted to share with her that I am guilty too. All I wanted to say was "Shut up! Shut up! You should help ease the pain for the grieving mother and sympathise with her", but I didn't. I cowardly kept my story inside me, locked and sealed but today I want to share this because I just saw a child safety film which got me screaming NO to the person who saw a child crying in a car but did not do anything about it!
 

That got me thinking, perhaps the person doesn't know the dangers of leaving a child in a locked car and that's why she walked away.

I knew then that I must share this.

I try my best'est to always be alert and well rested because I am dealing with precious cargo every day but you cannot know when lightning is going to strike. I have implemented an alert system (after the dreadful day and a mouthful of shelling from my mother) to remind me of all the small and big things.

I have set a reminder in my phone that asks me "Where are my children?" It has been set at specific intervals when I am getting in and out of the car most often.

I have also made it a habit to tell my husband if I am going out with the kids and he would call to check our whereabouts and ask about the kids.
 

I would do the same too when he is out with the kids. Thus far, this has helped us a lot in making sure we are aware and always know what each person is doing. It is like a checklist, each alert (hand phone reminder) and phone call is to check and make sure the kids are safe and well.

It is sad to know the statistics of this dreadful and AVOIDABLE accident. So please share this or just talk to the person next to you. You never know who this story might help and stop another car child death tragedy.

This is a reenactment and no one was harmed in the making of this video

One Decision (Child Safety Film - Vehicular Heatstroke)

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Eyes are the window to the soul

Did you know that you are suppose to visit an eye specialist (not your optician) once a year? Even if you have perfect vision.
I only knew this when a friend asked me to accompany him (to an ophthalmologist) to pick up his glasses.

The doctor was surprised that I had not once, visited a proper eye doctor - I had been visiting opticians to get my spectacles (ophthalmic lenses) and never really thought about an eye specialist, truth be told, I didn't even know that there were different categories of eye specialist.

He insisted I come in for an eye examination and I learnt that what an ophthalmologist does is so thorough and detailed compared to the opticians I had been visiting in the past.
I even got sunglasses to sun proof my eyes (which I should have done from young) because exposure to sun's ultraviolet light can raise the risk of cataract and other eye related problems later in life.

So if you are as convinced as I am and would go the extra mile to protect your precious mini-me's eyes, I would suggest you to invest in a pair of sunglasses which is able to block 100% UVA & UVB rays. The only way to be sure you are getting this deal is by investing in a trusted brand label like Squids.

Beware of sunglasses that only blocks the sunlight (with dark lenses) without the UVA & UVB protection, because they could damage your eyes even more as opposed to not wearing a pair of sunglasses -when using dark lenses, your pupils will dilate to let in more light. So choose carefully and get to know your sunglasses before using them.

Squids comes in two sizes; Mini-squids can fit a baby up to 2 years old while Squids are meant for older children (3-10). These are from Australia but you can  easily get them here from Bloom and Grow

These sunglasses are made with care and are easy to care for too. The lenses are made of shatterproof Polycarbonate so you can trust you little ones to handle them on their own.
They are light and flexible, so are great company to the beach or pool because it will float if your child accidentally drops it in the pool. They are also great for your active toddler and children who enjoy being out in the sun.

The mini-squids are well thought design because there are no sharp edges on the frame (rounded temple tips) which could accidentally hurt my toddler and comes with a removable head strap to secure it around her head.
I tried using it with the head strap but my little toddler prefers it without because she  likes to take off and put on the sunglasses. Even without the strap, mini-squids would stay on and not fall off despite all the running around she does in the park.

She loves her Squids so much that she pretty much uses it all the time we are out in the sun. The moment I strap her up in her car seat, she would reach out for her sunglasses which are placed next to her seat and put them on. They are so comfortable that she managed to take a nap while wearing it.

Squids which are meant for older children do not come with a head strap but have the same features as the mini-squids and are slightly larger.
During our recent trip to the beach, my girls pretty much had these sunglasses on for a long period of time. They did not feel any discomfort or found it to be annoying. In fact, it felt rather pleasant and "cool", that's how my eldest daughter described it to be.

I am glad my girls like Squids which are stylish, comfortable and beautifully designed for the little ones. These have become an accessory that we won't leave the house without.

Malaysians are a lucky lot because we get sun or the summer experience throughout the year and these sunglasses provide the right protection I need for their eyes.

I received Squids from Bloom and Grow for review purpose.

No monetary compensation was given and all opinions are mine and mine only.

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Water Disruption (Code Red)

Code red has been activated and we are already feeling some disruption in water supply.
I hope it this will be over soon.
Please read:

JUST GOT THIS FROM SYABAS TODAY (30/8/13):
Dear media friends, SYABAS has activated its emergency response plan at Code Red today following spillage of diesel 10km away from the intake area. This has caused closure of sungai Selangor phase 1,2,3 and rantau panjang. This affects 7 districts which include at least 1million consumers. The treatment operators Have informed Syabas that they are unable to determine how long the Recovery period would take. Lembaga Urus Air Selangor has been notified and is in the midst of clearing the affected area. The federal n state govt have both been informed. SYABAS wish to inform consumers to use water prudently as we are very much dependent on the existing water storage in the balancing reservoirs at present. I have sent a press statement with details to you. Pls help circulate the news. You may quote me as I m assigned to speak on behalf of the company. TQ for your help. Regards, Priscilla Alfred, Asst General Manager, Corp Comm & Public Affairs, Syabas.

Where is Superwoman when you need her?

It's back to school!

Usually it's the kids who would complain of tummy ache, feeling nausea, lack of sleep and lethargy on their first day of school, after a long break. In fact, it is expected of them to do this charade but they didn't.

Instead, it was I who had these symptoms. 

It was I, who was struggling to keep my eyes open by 4pm and wishing I could be morphed back to the time when school was out and fun was in.

To make my day even worst, I had to put up with some renovation in the house (to fix a leaky bathroom).

Day 1, back to school was a disaster (at least for me).

Breakfast was definitely not what I had planned the night before and I felt like I was nursing a terrible hangover. All I wanted to do was go back to bed. Truth be told, I did just that!

Once the kids were out of the house I jumped right back in to bed. Snuggled up next to my baby and prayed very hard that she would remain asleep.

Luckily for me, Monday didn't last as long as it usually does. Looking at my "condition" my husband decided to eat out which is very unusual on Monday evening. 

Yay! More time for me to sit back and enjoy my TV series and no more dirty dishes for the day.

I know it will get better and I would be able to handle the rigidness of back to school regime (as long as I can outlive Monday!)

• The waking early and sleeping late.
• The scratching my head to come up with interesting menu for 3 picky eaters.
• Having different roles and job scope i.e. the driver, tutor and time keeper. All these in a day!

I never knew I could miss school break this much. I think my kids have got their Monday under control, unlike mummy.

So how has your Monday been?

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To find out more Mischievous Monday

 

School's out! Fun is in.

Each time it's school break, my kids metamorph.

The drill

My flamboyant K (#2) would start her countdown to school break. It usually starts from the moment she gets wind of school break being around the corner. Every morning she will check in with me to make sure she got her count down right and would have her travel bags packed and ready even if we are not travelling.

My eldest (the culprit who lets the cat out of the bag on school break) would start making calls, asking her cousins what they've got planned and start working on a game plan to get herself included.

She would take every necessary step to ensure her holiday is worry free. Usually this involves her homework (they are usually given homework during school break) getting completed even before the school holiday starts. She would skip her mid-morning breaks and use up her free periods in school to do as much as she can. School holidays means time spent away from home (does she need a break from me? I wonder), even if it is staying over at their cousins whom they meet every week.

I was nothing like my eldest when in school. I used to procrastinate and push all my work to the night before school starts. So I feel rather guilty when reprimanding #2. She is so like me. Without fail almost each school break I end up sitting with teary eyed K, trying frantically to finish her homework.

The glorious break

This August school break coincided with Ramadan holidays. Which means both working adults and school kids will have a long weekend together! So much has been planned by them that I fear ask because it's definitely a tall order for me and I don't like disappointing them.

The first week was glorious and glitch free. The kids got more than they bargained for and I felt like a superwoman for being able to do it without my better half by my side calming me down, every now and then.

Day #1

After travelling more than a hundred km with 4 girls and a boy, we safely arrived at my sister's place which by the way is a heaven-on-earth.

They managed to coax her into letting them tag along to her hair saloon appointment. One thing lead to another and a half hour visit turned into 2 hours. This happened to be their first time getting a hair wash in a saloon and they LIKED IT! Papa bear isn't going to be thrilled finding about this because it means one more thing added to their list of  'I Want'.

Day #2

Just next door to the hair saloon was a nails bar. Little K had made an appointment to get her nails done right under my nose. Her "Oh mama, I am only going to check out the nails bar" was a far cry from the real reason visiting it. I only became aware of this appointment the next day, when the nail's bar owner called me to remind me of 'my' appointment, for all FOUR of them!

Day #3

After spending a big sum on their 'I feel so pretty' adventure, it was time for some backyard science and food project. Since K hadn't start on her school break homework, I managed to get the girls involved in helping K out with her science project (operation kill two birds with one stone). It was fun watching them be awed experimenting what liquid soap can do (in a bowl of milk, add few drops of food colouring and then some dish drop in the middle). This kept them busy and they managed to learn a lot about colours and what happens when you mix two different colours.

They had just watched Ratatouille the night before and were quite eager to be little chefs like Remy. They mixed berries with yogurt to see what flavours and colours they would get. They even made overnight oats for all of us which was very tasty that even the youngest enjoyed eating it.

Dish drop (green) causes the milk to bubble and move

 strawberry and cherry mix was appealing and tasty too

overnight oats topped with fresh fruits and some jam

Day #7

My niece had been asking to pierce her ears since the last school break. With nothing planned for the weekend, on Sunday we headed off to the nearest shop to get her ears pierced. All the bravery and determination which she had shown me fluttered away the moment she saw the gun. Little K came to her rescue by going first and proving to her that it wasn't as bad as it looked. Watching how quick and easy it was, my niece sat on the dreaded stool and allowed two young ladies to 'shoot' her.

K piercing her ears

Not letting you feel left out

Since this was their first holiday away from their dad, they would call and share with him all the exciting things they had done. However,  it was hard to do because my youngest wouldn't let anyone else speak to him. The moment I took out my laptop, she would jump on my laps and cry out "Papa!" She would hold onto the laptop with dear life and not let anyone come near. 

Writing this post has been a challenge because to her this devise is only meant for talking to her dad. Thank god she still naps or this would have never happened.

How has your holiday been?

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Linking up with Greta

Child vs. Adult

There is a reason why we call those precious things running around 'CHILDREN'.

Bear with me.

A sex abuse case involving a 41 year old man and a 13 year old girl has caused dysphoria in cyberspace. Meltdown in Twitterdom.
It's not so much about the sex abuse case though, but the verdict.
Now I'm no barrister by any means but I am baffled at how the judge came about labelling the 13-year-old victim as "predatory". Mind boggling.
Reasons such as looking and acting much older than her age, in my opinion, are not good enough to label or stereotype a person, let alone not a teen.

My arguments : (Let's play some court room drama, shall we?)

Child vs. Adult

According to Erik Ericsson's psychosocial chart, the victim is in a transition stage, between childhood and adulthood (adolescences). She is neither a child nor an adult, which to me, is really a confusing place to be. Trust me, I've seen enough when I was teaching in a primary school, not long ago.

The definition of child in most dictionaries, a person not yet of age or a young person especially between infancy and youth. So please expect childlike or childish behaviour.

Let that sink in.

Surely the judge, in all his wisdom and knowledge of the law, would've interpreted it the same as my simple understanding. Surely?

Expect childlike or childish behavior. Not the matured measured controlled one from typical grown adults.

Surely?

Definition of adult, fully developed and matured. Having the capability of making a sound and experienced judgement.
If someone, irrelevant of age or background, comes and offers you something that's legally, morally and obviously wrong, aren't you suppose to turn it away?
When at a slippery slope, aren't you suppose to be careful climbing down (better still, avoid it and take another route)? For those who like taking risks, you can't blame the slope if you fall.

So take a long look at yourself in the mirror if you're one of those who are saying it takes two to tango or she asked for it. It is clearly off the mark because you are comparing apples to oranges.

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Teen Turmoil

Teenage years are the hardest because so much is happening and changing with and within them. Coupled with PMS, it's a recipe for disaster if you're expecting rationality from them. I wish I could stay clear of this but that's wishful thinking because I've got three growing pre-teen girls. To say that I'll be going through a lengthy roller coaster ride would be a somewhat understatement. Fingers crossed, I hope I would be sane enough to handle whatever it is, these teenagers of mine, throw at me. To expect them to be sane and angelic, is akin to sighting a mermaid perhaps.

I guess it is payback time for all the nonsense I made my mother go through. 

It is a confusing stage I know, because I've been there! It's a black hole, full of uncertainties and doubt. It's the stage in life where hormones take over the thinking capabilities and everything seems OK. 

The stage where you think you are invincible and have no two hoots for anyone else but yourself.

The stage where it's cool to be obnoxious, loud, experimentative and sometimes stupid.

The stage where you believe if you don't get the latest shoes, you'd be an outcast and your social life is ruined, FOREVER! 

The stage where what your mom says is bogus but what friends say holds a lot of truth.

I wish I could fast forward this stage or build a bubble for my kids which will safeguard them, but that would be wrong. It will rob them of their best years in life. So much happens when you are a teenager.

All the first things;

first memorable kiss

 first love

 first heartbreak

 first time living own on your own

first health care decision

first rental agreement

first time being fully responsible of your laundry

first bills

first checking account

first flu without the comfort of mother's hot chicken soup

first time driving a car

first time cooking for someone

first flight alone

first holiday without parents

first hangover

first walk alone in the dark

first meet-up with an online "friend"

first paper qualification

first job

first salary

first debt

first interview

Some of these may leave a profound memory or scar on your soul. I have yet to meet anyone who speaks of their teenage life without life and enthusiasm. A lot is learnt and some of it may have helped shape the me, I am today. These experiences I would cherish forever, both good and the bad ones.

All I hope is that I will be able to equip my little angels with enough confidence and strength so that they are able to swim with sharks, hunt with wolves and return home, stronger and experienced.

She's a Tween, close to a confused teen

"These are the years a man changes into the man he is going to become, for the rest of his life". 

Uncle Ben from Spiderman  

Lets get connected:

Now you can follow me by email (fill email address here) to get new post notifications delivered directly into your mailbox or you could follow my Facebook page Life Simplified to get more recipes and tips in making life a little more laid back or we can connect via twitter.


Thank you for stopping by at A cuppa for my thoughts